"Hasn't he ever heard of the Hilton?!"

So, I found a Mastercharge receipt in Elmer's pocket, dated yesterday, from the White Gables Motel!! *sob, sob* I cannot take another heartbreak. I just cannot take it! So I sent Cuddles and Heintz over there and told her to call me if they see his car...

Well, I went right over to the White Gables Motel and picked up their scent immediately. Cheap Midnight in Paris perfume. I can smell it anywhere! I broke down the door and yelled, "Coitus interruptus?" I caught him, right in the act of adultry! With Sandra, his secretary, no less! I said, "I won't stand for this, Elmer. I want a divorce! And a big, fat settlement to go along with it!" *sob, sob, SOB!!* I can't go on...I'll tell you what happened next a little later...right now, I need a drinky...