BEEEEEEER!!!

My daughter, Lu-Lu, is completely out of control, and a little liar to boot. I just don't know what to do with her anymore. One of these days she's going to get herself in trouble. The other night, a nice young man named Freddy Ashton came by to take Lu-Lu to the library to study. She came downstairs to greet him in the tightest outfit I'd ever seen! I demanded to know where she got it. "I borrowed it," she said. It was a new garment, I could smell it. I asked her, "Have you been shoplifting again?" She said she bought it with money she saved. "What money?" I demanded to know. "You don't have a job!" She said boys at school give her money. "For what?" I asked. She said, "For dancing at lunch period!" I asked her, "You dance lewdly for the boys at lunch period?" Lu-Lu said, "For a quarter I will!!" And all during this discussion, she's dancing and thrusting and squealing and snapping her fingers...I cried out, "Stop that dancing!" Then Freddy gave his two cents: "Don't be upset, Mrs. Fishpaw. Puberty brings on strange behavior in adolescents. I'll take good care of her. Have a nice night!" I told Lu-Lu to be a good girl, and asked her if she had 15 cents to call home...I don't know, something tells me she didn't go to the library with Freddy...I just know she met up with that awful Bo-Bo Belzinger...