Mother, may I?

I'm so sorry it's so long since I've updated my blog. But I know you'll understand---I met the most WONDERFUL MAN!! I met him at the side of the road at the site of a deadly, grisly car accident. Isn't that romantic? He told me he had something to show me..."It's long---it's sleek---it's powerful..." It was his new 'Vette!!! At least he has a decent car...

We went back to my place on Wyman Way (after passing Elmer and that PIECE OF TRASH broken down on the side of the road! HAHAHAHAHA! I hope she broke a nail). I was so embarrassed for him to see it like that, because it was SUCH a mess. I introduced him to LuLu (who has discovered macrame! She's gentler now, and more creative since her miscarriage) and Dexter (who was just released from prison--yes, he WAS INDEED the Baltimore Foot Stomper). Dexter is a creative artist now. I was a little embarrassed because Todd recognized him from the news. But, oh well.

Then Todd asked to see the bedroom. !!!! I told him that I've had a bad year, and asked him not to be too harsh in his judgements. Todd told me he loved me! I told him that I was so nervous---my husband had been harrassing me every day, and I was afraid he was going to kill me!! I told him I craved liquor right that minute, and that I ache...I ache all over...but Todd just kissed my D.T.'s away, and told me he wanted to make love to me. All I could say was, "Oh, Todd. Be gentle with me. Please, be gentle..."

I am so deliriously happy!!! What could go wrong?